Seeing double

I received a beautiful email from a woman, Shelly, introducing herself and her boy, Solomon, to me about 2 months ago. She had been an avid viewer of Cas's videos, as she was preparing for her boy to have an amputation. Cancer strikes again! (grrr...)

Solomon is an adorable fawn dane too. He lost his rear left leg exactly one week after Castor. (awww...) We decided to organize a 2-dog Tripawd Great Dane Meetup. (woo hoo!)

Thursday, November 18th

At 10 years old, he's getting along fabulously. Castor was his perky, prancing self too. It's so great to form communities around our special (danes), and now, even special-er (tripawd danes), beloved dogs.

They didn't play much together. Solomon was a tad nervous in a new environment, and Cas can't leave his rope alone some days. Still, it was great for us moms to chat about our challenges, our joys, and our gratitude for these amazing pups.

We didn't get great video footage of them playing; we were too busy enjoying ourselves. (Totally worth it!) Still, Cas is always ready to be photographed, it seems.

Though Shelly and Solomon have had a difficult time, first getting misleading (or at least incomplete) information about Solomon's condition in April, things are looking up now. Solomon's condition was reassessed after they moved to California in August. The oncologist in Berkeley recommended amputation, something Shelly originally thought impossible.

The great news is that Solomon actually had a different type of bone cancer, chondrosarcoma, one that they think surgery will cure. They keep checking the lungs for lesions, but the outlook is good. Great, huh?! Go Solomon!

I showed Shelly a few things Jackie, the PT, showed me, including muscle massages and how to strengthen Cas's back leg with modified squats so as not to hurt his knee. While we were there, might as well take a rest.

After the fun, I watched Solomon while Shelly brought the car closer to the entrance of the park. He was so worried. So was I! I kept worrying he would bump his head or trip over things, pacing back and forth. I forgot he and Cas aren't exactly the same. Solomon sees everything just fine. =)


Cas and I look forward to many more play dates with this sweetheart, who is so damn lucky to have such a dedicated mom.


Of course, her and I are luckiest.

A little massage with his chemo

I know, I know. It's been a while since my last post. I know life just isn't the same without my (potentially lengthy) stories about Castor, but it's been one of those 3 weeks that is busy busy. I try to keep the actual dates posted before the stories though. (You're welcome. =P )

**OH, and I'll add pics and video to this later today.

Thursday, October 7th

And then, we were off to Davis again...weee!

To be honest, I don't mind our excursions. It's a whole day to be with the boy, to work casually from a cafe I don't spend enough time in to be sick of, and I get to take naps on the way home with Cas in Dabs's backseat.

Too bad Robyn has school this week. No napping for me, but Castor's getting what he needs. Plus, there's garlic fries waiting for me!

20 questions for the PT
We went first to Oncology to have a CBC done. This time, as expected, his levels were back to normal. After the blood test, we waited for our physical therapy appointment. He would have chemo administered afterward.

Jackie Woelz, the physical therapist, is very warm and very accessible. Every person I mentioned his physical therapy appointment to at Davis immediately replied, "Oh. Jackie's so great, isn't she?!" Indeed, she is.

We talked about his situation and our typical routines - diet, exercise, home set-up - for a long time before she assessed Castor. She let us stay in the courtyard just outside of her building the entire time. Castor loved that. He soaked up the sun while we chatted.

She started with one simple question. "What do you want to get from this visit or from physical therapy?"

I want to do whatever I can to help Castor stay as healthy as possible in his 3-legged body. For this visit, that means I want to figure out any exercises and stretching I can do to keep him flexible, strong, and sans pain. I mentioned that I wanted to be shown stretches to do for him each day to keep the range of motion in his joints ranging on.

I had a lot of questions for her. Like:

• What stretches should I do?
• Are the stairs okay to do as we have been?
• Should he have acupuncture?
• What about chiropractic adjustments?
• How long should I take him out to play and exercise?
• Isn't he cute in his harness...er, i mean, is this a good harness for lifting and assisting him?
• How do I know if he's too tired?
• How much should I limit his activity, if at all?
• Anything else I should know? (This is a good question in general. After all, they're the experts.)

I have the, perhaps annoying, tendency to cut vet professionals off a bit. It's just a consequence of my preparedness and research combined with my itty bitty amount of patience. They seem forgiving.

So, after minimal prompting I explained that yes, I had covered all of our slippery surfaces in the house. Yes, I raised his food and water. Yes, I had cut back and altered our pre-amp play time and walks.

Namely, no more urban hikes up and down the hills of our concrete neighborhood. We also don't typically hang out at the dog park for an hour. Most days, we go out to a grassy park in the morning for 30 minutes and in the afternoon/early evening for another 20-30 minutes. She was very pleased. Grassy ground? Check. More frequent, shorter trips out? Check.

It's not good for Cas now, as it wasn't as a giant breed puppy, to go out for "warrior weekends." He needs regular, moderate activity. And that's what he gets.

There is one sign to show me when his body's tired. She said to pay attention to the turnout in his rear leg. When his quad muscle is feeling fatigue, he may turn his paw out for support. That action locks his knee, which prevents his leg from buckling. However, it's dangerous for his knee. When that starts happening, it's time to go!

And getting out of the house? Fortunately, I had video on my phone to show her our trip down the stairs at home. I explained that though it sucked to have stairs at all, we were trying to minimize the impact on his joints and avoid and falling accidents by using both his Ruff Wear and Walk About harnesses.

She thought his trip down the stairs was great. (YAY!) She said it was really good that he dropped his head down so low, which would help keep him balanced and take weight out of his rear leg. It's really a result of his extremely poor vision. (Does he see at all now? I do not know. Not much, if any.)

She was familiar with and said the Ruff Wear harness was great, with one caveat. She didn't like the under part. Especially with a dog Castor's size, the slender straps that for the underside of the harness are not very supportive. I have worried that they dig into his (massive) chest. He sometimes makes an airy, grunty sound when we catch him as he hops out of the car, like the wind's being knocked out of him.

The other Ruff Wear model, the double back, has a full size underside, in the shape of the top. She recommended that, if possible, noticing however, that it is a bit heavier. She showed us one, and it's much heavier duty. I may invest in one, or she suggested I try altering his harness by attaching some heavy fabric to the bottom straps. A good excuse to practice sewing? Perhaps.

Walk, Stay, Sit, Lie
After all of the talking, Castor was ready for a rubdown. But first... We had him stand and walk to show Jackie how he do. She said he looked great!

He has great extension in his rear leg as he walk/hops. She examined his spine and said it was minimally curving with his new structure. It barely curves at the end to accommodate his new tripod posture. Upon running her thumbs down along his spine, she also didn't think he was in any notable pain.

She seemed very impressed with and happy about his physique and movement.

I explained that I was re-teaching him to do down dog (adho mukha svanasana). Thankfully, I taught him that last summer. I thought it'd be great for his shoulder movement. She agreed, though only because I explained that Rob supported his rear with the WalkAbout harness during his attempts. Cas is getting it; he can do almost anything for a carrot!

I also mentioned squats. Should I be having him sit and stand and sit and stand and... to build up his rear leg muscles. She was not keen on this idea. It's hard on his knee and his joints. She gave me a modified exercise though. Positioned behind Castor, she bent her knee on the ground under him. She had him sit on her thigh, which is halfway to the ground. Then stand. It's like people sitting down into a chair during physical therapy. Much better.

Massage me already!
Finally, (says Cas) we got him on his side. (Another command my smart boy knows ;-) ) I explained the stretching book I'd read along with some of the exercises. She was not familiar with it, but did recommend the book "Four Paws, Five Directions," for a guide on acupressure points. (HaHa! My mom's been suggesting that for more than a year now.)

To make a long story less long, she is more a fan of massaging than stretching dogs (and one would assume, cats, ferrets, and horses too). When she tried to, for instance, extend Castor's front leg (shoulder extension), he resisted her, big time. And my boy's strong!

Basically, if your animal patient resists, you can really hurt them. If I work on Cas for a while, just rubbing his muscles deeply, he relaxes a lot. Then I can usually stretch him for a while. She said the massaging part was plenty to keep his muscles supple and long.

So, I will not be stretching him, unless he asks for it. Instead, I'll be requesting a few down dogs after we get back in the house and his muscles are warm. Then at least once daily, I'll give him a good rubdown.

The most important muscles to keep supple are his triceps, trapeziuses, and his rear leg muscles. She also said I could gently to moderately draw my fingers or thumbs down along either side of his spine. NEVER on his spine.

And What Else?
She wholeheartedly recommended acupuncture. She has many clients who receive acupuncture and have had tremendous success with keeping up their energy, for example. She says she can guess by seeing them if they've just had a treatment or are in need of another.

She gave me the names of two people her clients have used for acupuncture, one in SF and one in Berkeley. There is someone who does home visits near Davis too, but that's not so pertinent to us. I will make an appointment with the SF doctor next week.

As above, she suggesting hitting acupressure points too. I was referred to the book mentioned above for that.


Castor and I get A+'s
Other than that, keep it up! That was her recommendation. He looks GREAT! I'm doing great! Everything is great! We will see her if and when he needs more help.

She said, "you both get A plusses." It was partly for assessment, and partly encouragement. Sweetness. I haven't had one of those since I started grad school.

FANTASTIC. We couldn't be more pleased. And grateful.

And just when he thought it was over...
And as if to reinforce Castor's love of Jackie, we took him to see the poking, prodding docs in the other building again. =\ We dropped him off for his chemo treatment.

We left for lunch. Fries! Yum.

We came back about an hour later. Thankfully, they were quick and on top of things.

He was given 90% of his initial dose. Hopefully, his WBC count would stay above 1,000 this time. I would have another CBC done in 3 weeks this time around. And they would see us next time.

Everyone says he looks great. Well, yeah he does. My little 3-legged rock star!

Playing with his kind

Saturday, October 2nd

We went to our first Bay Area Great Dane meet-up since Cas's surgery
the weekend after our non-chemo Davis trip. This was a joint meetup with the Sacramento group, so there were about 30 danes there! Cas was reunited with some of his Dane friends. Sweetness.

It was quite a trek for him to get up over the hill to the Dane's spot at Point Isabel, but he did it happily. He played a bit, stood a lot, and reveled in all the attention. It was a big workout for him, but he did great!

And we both (okay so me more than him) got to nap it off on the drive home.



I made him sit for a break in the middle. That way he could rest and I could make weird faces. Can you find the bed head in this picture? =P




He is gaining confidence every day, though he is a bit nervous when dogs are running fast near him. Last week on our morning park trip, two huskies were running around in huge circles when Cas decided to make his way toward me in the center of the park. Well, they ran right behind him, FAST, and Zoe ran right into his nub. (Zoe is an adorable husky who I can't help but think of as Hoshi in a Husky suit. Hoshi is my sweet grey kitty.)

He started yelping and crying and looking back at his hip. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible. I ran over and put his bum on my lap to take all the weight out of his back leg. He kept crying. About a minute later he was hopping tentatively around again.

He was fine. I think he was more scared than anything. He's still a tad trepidatious when dogs run crazy-style around him. Understandably so.


He has resumed his marking all over the park again, so I know that he's feeling like the big dog around here again. Just watch him show this stick who's boss.

Fade to color

I haven't been that inspired to write about Castor's and my experiences lately. It seems that this ordeal has faded into the background quite a bit. A good thing, for sure. Still, I don't want to get complacent and stop being grateful for time with my boy. Hasn't happened yet.

The fact is that Castor's mostly adjusted to tripawd life. And me to it. Now, it's time for me to readjust to my life. Certainly, that entails spending lots of time at home with him; fortunately, I work from home 90% of the time. However, I also have begun to leave the house more regularly to work nearby.

Many say to me that Castor's lucky to have me, that I'm doing everything I can for him. I believe that and appreciate the thoughts. I know that I have handled these transitions really well. My veterinary background, including our friends still in the business of saving animals, my fortunate work situation, and my immense support system are to thank.


I started worrying that I was also tapping into my survival instincts of long-ago. You know those people who "thrive" in crazy, stressful situations? Children who grow up in alcoholic homes can become unfeeling, controlling perfectionists who seem to have unimaginable situations under control, when really they are just sweeping the floor to spite the people shitting in the house. Or something like that. I don't think that's what I'm doing now though.

I am not in denial. And certainly, I've been feeling a lot. Am I a bit controlling? Well, honestly, yes. Especially with regards the boy. (And how to brew tea, how to clean the bathroom, where to keep the blankets, ... Yep, there's lots to let go still!) However, progress has been made. Lots of it.

This time around, I seem to be not losing it or clinging to it, but rather focusing more deeply, with an almost intuitive sense for how to navigate the chaos. Now, I am staying present for the ups and the downs.

Speaking of vertical movements
The stairs are an obstacle best overcome by two people. With Rob's help, Castor travels up and down our stairs with ease. Rob's shoulder on the other hand...Well, Castor takes the last four steps in one big leap. I'm working on changing that, but he doesn't seem to understand. Hitting bottom probably never felt so soft.

Here's us taking him up and down. It might not be too clear, but sometimes he's just pawing at the ground. Usually I use the Walkabout rather than just carrying his rear.

We're casually looking for a new place to live sans stairs; however, most places are not nearly as fabulous, small, crappy, more expensive, in less desirable areas, or most commonly, still have stairs. Also, we love our landlord, Dr. Color.

The only real problem currently is that it requires two people, one strong enough to carry most of Cas's weight. He seems to carry 80-95% of his weight in his front legs now, especially going down stairs. He attempted a handstand the other day, floating his back leg of the stair for a couple of seconds. That's my little yoga doggie (Dogi??).

Getting the house in order
We have finished making the house tripawd friendly. They tend to slip a bit more than on four paws, so we had to sufficiently cover the hardwood floors. I discovered a new use for yoga mats. We bought a couple to place over random slippery floors. Bonus: walking on cushy yoga mats feels awesome too.

I also found a cheap-ish way to raise his food and water bowls. I bought two seven-gallon buckets, and Rob cut big holes in the lids to hold stainless steel bowls. The bowls fit snugly, and although the buckets are not so attractive, that will soon be fixed too. I found a pleasing fabric to place over them. I just have to sew them up a bit. Sweetness.



I still want to buy him these ridiculous(ly cute?) socks for wearing in the house, but I've thus far resisted the sweet, consumptiony urges emanating from deep within my bowels. Useful? Probably. Needed? Not really. My mom did get him some Ruff Wear booties though, for outdoor trips.

I have just begun to let Cas stay home alone too. Sure, for only an hour or less, but I'm easing into it. The I only time I left him alone, for an hour, after we were back in San Francisco, he licked his suture enough to cause that tiny infection. Since his suture is healed and no infection lingers, it's safe now. (Go Clavamox!)

Why so somber?
I'm used to Castor being remarkable for his beauty and sweetness, but not for what he's lacking. I completely forget that seeing a dog hopping around, missing a leg, especially one as big as Castor, is arresting. Then someone at the park puts on their pouty face and asks, "Aw. What happened?" That's actually not so common, thankfully.

I welcome people's reactions and questions. I would much rather talk to people about such things. Awkwardness, discomfort, and pain often come from silence. (Another lesson from my adventures in childhood.) Fortunately, most people are willing to ask questions and many don't seem altogether unfamiliar with tripawds.


Still, it's a tad jarring when people seem sad about his new architecture. To me, he's Castor. He's not different at all. Certainly not diminished in any way. Clearly, things about him are different, but I don't even think of him as having had four legs. Difficult to explain, I guess. (Or I'm just failing at an easy task? Either way.)

Do you ever feel a sense of loss when thinking about the times you didn't have hair under your arms? Maybe it's like that. You don't even think about it, right? I really don't mind shaving.

Perhaps that's a weird analogy. Be that as it may, the only "Aw, I really miss ..." moments I've had have been thinking of our hour long walks up the hilly neighborhood. No biggie.

Speaking of hair, Castor's hair is growing back. (Like that transition?)

I must say I adore his little nub. Before if I ever wanted to stop Castor in his tracks, I would just rub his inner thigh. He would stop immediately. He loves it. Now, if I rub the inside of his left hip, he lifts his little nub out. It's adorable!

So there you have it. Castor can do no wrong in my eyes. That's unconditional love.

Partner yoga
I've started Castor's stretching and strengthening routines. I'm still figuring out the details, and we're starting off slowly. After we go out for a short but exhausting walk/run in the afternoon, I have him do two to three squats, i.e., have him sit and stand. I have Rob hold his walkabout harness to help ease his rear's descent, if need be. He's doing great. I reward him with carrots, of course.

After that, I have him lay down on his left side, so I can start by stretching his right rear leg. I am reading The Healthy Way to Stretch Your Dog, a book about...well, can you guess? Since it's important to stretch when the muscles are warm, I want to work the back hip first.

From there, I stretch his right shoulder and elbow. The I get him to flip over. (That's the hardest part!) It's not a great to flip Danes over their backs, so I have him sit up to change sides. Anyway, he's so good about it all. I'll put up some videos of specific stretches once we've seen the physical therapist at Davis. Then I'll know I'm not screwing it up. =)

After our first session, he got super playful. Enjoy this cuteness!

Go get 'em!
Oh, yeah. Cas is back to playing. He fell once and almost a few times, but he's getting it. He's running after dogs, running after Rob, and tossing sticks around. So cute.

The most popular comment pre-amp was, "you got a saddle for that thing?" (Nope, you aren't the first one to think of that. ha!) The number one comment now is, "it's only been three weeks?!" If you are facing the amputation question, it has been my experience that they figure it out. These creatures are so unbelievably resilient. You will be amazed. Certainly, if your loved one faces other challenges - arthritis, other compromised limbs, etc. - then it might not be so easy, but Castor's near blind and totally rocking it on three!

He's been feeling so good for the past week and a half. The chemotherapy didn't cause any side effects that I noticed. The night after he seemed a bit uneasy. I thought he might be nauseated. No diarrhea, no vomiting, and no missing meals though. By day four, the Carboplatin should be out of his system too.

For the first three to four days we had to be careful with his urine, i.e., avoid getting on our skin. The problem with that is whatever gets on his skin will inevitably get on mine. (He sleeps in my bed.) So, I had to try to keep it off him. The problem with that? He pees on cement at least once daily, and it splatters like crazy.

You should have seen me trying to get a pee pad under him outside. I followed him around in circles, hunched over, pee pad in hands. Just as he'd start to squat, I'd toss the pad down, he'd hear it, look back at me with indignation and start walking around again. It took about four times on average.

Too bad for you, there's no video - maybe next round. It was hilarious.

We were all happy to leave day four behind us. Without any notable problems with the chemo, he can continue getting the same dose, and we can keep kicking the S out of this cancer. Yay!

His next treatment will be September 30th.

(He snuggles with me in the car too! ♥)