Sunday, August the 22nd
We left San Francisco Sunday at 11am.
I know that I'm doing what's best for my boy, and I haven't been feeling emotional like the first couple of days after I found out about his leg. This morning though, was hard. I found myself in a bicker-fest with Dabs. Then, walking to the dog park, I started to tear up watching him prance down the street. (It's so adorable!)
"He won't be able to prance around anymore!" But Dabs assures me, "he'll do something else that's adorable after the surgery." She's right. He can't help himself. =)
Again, I practice staying in the moment. We had a blast at the park and then piled into the car. Next stop: Santa Barbara.
I must mention that Cas is about the cutest little traveling companion ever. He's been all over with me. His first couple of years were lived in Santa Barbara until I moved for grad school at University of Wisconsin.
Our first road trip was moving to Madison WI. It was...well, the term "packed like sardines" comes to mind. Picture me, Castor, Matt (6'2"-tall guy), two cats, and luggage enough for 3 months. Oh, and we did that trip in my Beetle! (As my first road trip, I decided that road trips sucked. I was wrong, but that trip was less than ideal.)
From Madison, about 3 years later we took another trip to San Francisco and back. Then to Buffalo. Then back.
Last summer we spent four months in NYC after another road trip from Madison. We loved our time in Chelsea, including several cab rides to Central Park,
where he enjoyed playing with doggies, smelling the flowers, and drinking from the fountains.
Our last trip from NY to Madison, and then all the way back to SF, ended last September.
So, he's used to traveling, anyway.
He found more room than ever in Dab's car this time. I even provided him with an ample pillow supply. Still, his lips seemed to need more space. (adorable!)
We headed straight for Summerland Beach when we arrived. He grew up digging on this beach, so I wanted to spend a couple of hours R&Ring here. It was a beautiful day, as per SB's usual, except of course for the ridiculous amount of oil in the water. (WTF? I used to swim around in this ocean.)
I continued to feel anxious periodically. I don't have an anchor right now. I feel uprooted and nervous. The last two yoga classes I taught this week were for grounding down, especially in times when you feel the earth slip away from underneath. I practiced for Castor and for myself, searching for harmony between my inner and outer worlds.
External worlds don't adjust for us, we have to find a beautiful balance aligning ourselves, from within, to what's around us. I'm working on that. Castor is my inspiration.
Cancer is my catalyst.
Tomorrow is a big day. Surgery is at noon.
One big, divine breath at a time. I'm ready...set...